Wizard Rock
by Jam-jackson
Summary: AU OneShot based off of the Dangerverse. What happens when the Pride stumbles across the music known as Wizard Rock? Warning: No Real Plot


AN: OK, if you're reading this, you probably need to read Anne Walsh's (whodoyouneedtoknow) fics before this, because the characters are based off of hers. Enjoy!

The Pride was sprawled around the den room, Hermione was reading a book, while Luna and Draco were going over some sheet music. Ron and Harry were playing a game of Wizard Chess. Neville was repotting one of his plants, while Ginny was working with some clay. Meghan was lying on her stomach, her chin propped on her folded hands, listening intently to the top ten songs on the Wizard Wireless.

"And now, for our new number one song!" The announcer practically chirped. Harry groaned, he was sure it would be another Warbling Warlock song, and he was ready to turn the radio off with a flick of his wand, and prepared himself for the screaming fight with Meghan. He was so distracted by this that Ron was able to take his king much faster than he should have been able to.

The opening chord sounded nothing like the Warbling Warlock though, so Harry curiously turned to listen. Everyone else paused what they were doing to listen too.

"Are you scared to walk through the hallways? Are you worried that the spiders run away?" Ron paled, hearing the words Spider, and listened more intently.

"Are you petrified of being petrified? Are we going to have to save the school again?" Hermione paled when the word 'petrified' came up, and seemed to dread the next line.  
"We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk," There was a collective gasp in the room, and everyone turned to stare at Ginny. Ginny was blushing furiously, and if looks could kill, the radio would be dead.  
"We've got to save the school from that unseen horror, we've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk we've got to save the school again. It's been freaking out all the kids, it even took out Miss Noris, ate up the film in Collin's camera and petrified our friend Hermione Granger," Hermione rolled her eyes, and fought down a flush as the chorus started again.  
"You can't take my best friend's sister and get away with it."

"Guess it's from Harry's point of view," Draco said cheekily as it returned to the chorus again. When the song finished they all sat there in stunned silence. It was so silent that the announcer seemed unusually loud.

"And to top that off, they have a new release, that we're playing now!"

"Oh no," Harry groaned, "Another?"

"I got another fruitcake for Christmas, Hagrid gave it to me. Yeah, I got another fruitcake for Christmas, its got apples, pears and oranges, bananas, pineapples and prunes. I got another fruitcake for Christmas, Dumbledore gave it to me. I fed it to the Giant Squid. He came up to eat it, then hid. Got another fruitcake for Christmas, McGonagal gave it to me. The note said 'Try to transfigure' and this cakes presence won't linger. Yeah I got another fruitcake for Christmas, Whompy gave it to me. He is the most talented tree. Sometimes I wish to set him free. I got another fruitcake for Christmas. Moaning Myrtle threw it at me. Which means it was all but a ghost. I liked this fruitcake the most. I got rid of my fruitcakes this Christmas. Most of them hit Snape's head. He bled, and bled and bled. And I hope he doesn't like fruitcakes. And I asked the staff to never give them to me."

The stunned silence continued for a moment, before the entire pride dissolved into hysterical laughter. "Whompy?" Draco wheezed, but spurred another round of laughter.

"I want to throw fruitcakes at Snape," Meghan chimed in, as the laughter was starting to die down, starting a fresh wave.

"Think Fred and George had anything to do with this?" Ginny asked, "It seems like some mass joke…"

Harry shook his head, "If it was them, I'm not sure if I want to strangle them for the first one, or hug them for the second one."

The laughter finally completely died out, and Meghan switched off the wireless. She went to help Neville with his plants. All was quiet and peaceful, until suddenly, Draco started to play a familiar melody on his flute. Ginny caught on first.

"I got another fruitcake," She started, and everyone joined for a rousing rendition of the song that ended as everyone dissolved into giggles once more.

"I have an idea," Hermione said, with a Glint in her eyes. Everyone gathered around to hear her plan, then set into motion.

Snape sat at the head table in the Great Hall, silently avoiding all conversation around him and concentrating on the food in front of him. He had a terrible headache, caused by the students all eating and talking loudly. He looked up though, as an owl flew at him, dropping a letter into his lap.

Not a letter, a howler. He stared at it for so long, that it burst into flames, singeing him before he could get it off of him. As if that weren't bad enough, it started _singing_.

"I got another fruitcake for Christmas," Idly, Snape wondered if this were some elaborate plan of the students, give him a headache, then send him a singing howler? The song itself was quite bizarre, mentioning Hagrid, McGonagal, Dumbledore, and of all things the Whomping willow. The whole hall had grown silent listening to the song. Dumbledore looked bemused, while McGonagal looked rather appalled.

Snape was confused, but enjoyed the expression on McGonagal's face. That is, he did enjoy it, until _his _name was mentioned. His face paled and he began to shake in anger, as the whole school erupted into laughter. Forgetting his meal, he stood up and swept out of the hall, looking nervously behind him to make sure no fruitcakes were raining down on him.


End file.
